Editors' rant: A final word

Hi all,

We wanted to continue with Part II of nostalgia from the past fortnight but unfortunately space does not permit us to.

However it’s a crackin’ final issue for 2008 edition with a liftout issue of ‘Ask Cal’ and the lowdown from the final day of StudMuffin voting.

We hope that you’ve enjoyed your daily dose of randomness through The Zine this past fortnight and wish you all the best for a successful and fun VCE!

- Sheryl & Jen

PS. Some things we forgot to put into the print ed:

1) The Sudoku was generated using a fantastic freeware software called Simple Sudoku:

http://angusj.com/sudoku/

2) The Catch Phrases are from Paul Stacey's website: http://www.paulstacey.co.uk/catchphrase.php

3) Believe it or not (girls might), the 'Did you know?' segment came from the back of a Libra pad (the tear-off strip that reveals the adhesive).

What's going on today?

8.45am: Group meeting

9.00am: Class

10.00am: Group activities - banner making for Olympics

12.00pm: Classes...

1.00pm: Lunch. The very last one… so of course it has to be a BBQ!

2.00pm: Olympics and Farewell

4.00pm: Dr. Michael Carr-Greg’s lecture in GM15

Olympics of VCE SS ‘08 on today!

It’s the final day of Summer School (as you’re no doubt aware) and the Olympics will be on this arvo… where your StudMuffin will be unveiled.

However before the shenanigans this afternoon, you’ll have group activities at 10am today. In this time you’ll have a chance to create your Olympics team and create a banner for Summer School. Of course, more details on that in person.

The other piece of news for today is a bit more administrative - just a reminder that the lecture with Dr. Michael Carr-Greg is being held in GM15 in the Law Building. This lecture is compulsory so please ensure you are there… and you are most welcome to bring your parents too if you like.

Peace out guys!

Ask Cal

In this, the very last issue of Ask Cal for VCESS’08, Cal answers your questions in exactly six words, in honour of Ernie Hemmingway’s six-word story; ‘For sale: baby shoes, never worn.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Cal,
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Dear Culinarily Confused,
Humanitarians enjoy eating bubblegum pie, YUM!
Love,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
Is tuna fish or chicken??

Dear Zoologically Confused,
Two of those fish? Two, nah?
Peace and love,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
What came first, the chicken, or (the chicken’s) egg?

Dear Crossing-the-Road,
Neither. Chuck Norris came first, silly!

Love, your friendly local know-it-all,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
If the plural of tooth is teeth; why isn’t the plural of choose, cheese?

Dear Serial Dad Joker in-the-making.
Choice of cheeses would be difficult…
Dad-Joke aspirant,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
Why are candied apples in the fresh food section?

Dear Nonplussed Shopper,
An advanced kind of kid trap.
Love,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

Dear Anonymous,
Yes… don’t quote me on that.
Love,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
Why does toast land buttered-side first?

Dear Stumped,
No cat strapped to it’s back!
Feel the pseudo science love,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
Is it ok to say “lol” in everyday dialogue? If not, does it make me a nerd?!...
Please reply,
From msnjunky XX

Dear msnjunky,
4ny1 w40 s4|’5 s0 = t0l |\|00b
K33p |o\/\/n1ng,
C4l.

Dearest Cal,
Do you really answer all the questions?
~ From someone who wants you to answer their question.

Dear Feeling-Unappreciated,
Yes, every day. Check the website.
Love,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
Why does the human race feel compelled to fly?

Dear fellow aerial-aspirant,
Throw yourself at ground, and miss.
Love,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
Are the people residing in the ghetto part of a rap group/gansta possè?
From “You know who”


Dear Voldemort,
Yep, they call it GPXtreme possie.
Word,
Cal.

Dear Cal,
Where do babies come from? I don’t believe this whole stork thing…
~ A Confused Individual.

Dear Confused,
Not storks, veloceraptors… Think about it!
Love,
Cal.

Remember, for responses to ALL of the questions which I have received, check the Summer School Zine website at: http://summerschoolzine.blogspot.com

Tomorrow: The first day of the rest of your life. Answer your own questions in iambic pentameter!

Cal’s VCE Study Tip # 3+4:
Keep up your hobbies and interests, or at least some of them. You’ll need something to stop you from going insane. Also, to all of you who want to improve your vocabulary to write killer essays, try this fun website (where you can learn and help kids in Africa, for free!):
www.freerice.com

That’s it from me guys and gals. I hope y’all have a wonderful VCE. Keep it real, and stick it to The Man.
Love,
Cal.

Web ed note: Okay, I know we are cutting in on Cal's column... but just a further plug to check out Free Rice (www.freerice.com) ... it really is addictive and goes towards a good cause. And moving slightly off topic... some other sites that allow you to help out some worthy causes just by clicking include: www.thehungersite.com , www.povertyfighters.com and www.ripple.org . (The latter is a local effort - set up by Melb Uni alumni). All worth checking out (though they will not help your vocab as much as Free Rice!)

The Welfare Corner

Hmmm, there is no tongue twister or riddle for today… nor do we have an answer for yesterday’s riddle. Go hunt down Judy or Stan for the answers to these perplexing questions!

StudMuffin '08 ...

don't cha wish your girl(boy)friend was hot like [insert_name]?

The last day of voting did not fail to disappoint - bringing out a barrage of last minute votes and some suspicious activity around the StudMuffin ballot box.

We received a huge volume of votes (including close to 10,000 in the last 45 minutes of voting!) so thank you to all those who voted.

Firstly some shout outs to people who received some votes but however did not have a crazed fanclub keeping them in contention: Cameron Van, Nhung Vo, Linda Lam, Jennifer Lee, Ray Wang, Sophia Lee, Callum (guitar guy), Liz Nguyen, Shane Woon, Denise Echeverria, Monaliza Hafta, Jenny Pang, Tommy D, Sarah Dinh, Sundar V, Munaf, Tom McQuillan, Jodi Samargtis, Frances Neate, Emma Smith, the three Maddy’s, Bugs Bunny, South Lawn Underground Carpark and the ping pong table at Medley Hall!

Next up: those who put up a good fight for the title but just weren’t one of the major parties - Aaron Lau, Donna Nguyen, Laura Williams and Van T (who unfortunately was never in contention because of the lack of nomination).

Finally, the four nominees who made up > 95% of all votes… a whopping 21,489 votes between them (gosh, we editors wish we’d planned this competition better… if you’re thinking that counting would’ve taken ages… yes, you’re right!) Stanley Wang, Julie Kendall, Daniel Duong and Judy Chu were the Fab 4. However, while they are taking the glory, a round of applause should be given to each of these nominee’s support group who spent much of Thursday repeatedly scribbling down the name of their beloved and submitting it to the ballot box.

So to the important part? StudMuffin ‘08 is… er, we thought we’d keep you in suspense just a while longer. All will be revealed at the Olympics this afternoon!

No it’s not rubbish - these were the votes received in the last 45 minutes!

Stan fans in the middle of their voting operation.

Erected shrine for Aaron (there was a Facebook group created too!)

Funniest vote received!

Editors' rant: A trip down memory lane Part I

Attention Summer School students: A dust settling state of calm has descended on Summer School as classes and activities operate to clock-work efficiency. Your Zine editors assure all members of Summer School that this current state bliss is purely temporary as the Summer School wrap-up frenzy is about to hit the roof! With the dance night, beach afternoon and treasure hunt in tow, the Last Supper and Group Olympics promises nights of unprecedented fun.

However, with every end comes a beginning and on that note, your Summer School editors would like to recap on all the fun, laughter, peace and joy we have shared over the last couple of weeks. And what better way to do so than to let the pictures do the talking.

DISCLAIMER: your editors will not be held responsible for any tear jerker moments derived from the following memories.

Your editors, Jen and Sheryl.

"Er... she's taking a photo of us... gotta look natural, gotta look natural..."

"Cooking sausages looks like fun, but we much prefer to eat. Muahaha"

"The girls bare their feet as they get into the swing of things"

"Sakshi, is that a look of confusion we spy?"

"Jodi shakes it like there’s no tomorrow"

What's going on today?

8.45am: Group meeting

9.00am: Classes…

11.00am: Activity

12.00pm: Class

1.00pm: Lunch

2.00pm: Jon Faine lecture in Sunderland Theatre (Medical building for those now brave enough to try and find it themselves)

3.00pm: Class

4.00pm: The Last Supper - sob sob… it’s almost over, but wait… pizza cheers me up temporarily!

Handy-doodle reminder list

For Friday 18th January

• Scissors, glue, newspapers etc. for the group activities where the morning meetings groups will be making banners for the SS 2008 Olympics
• Don’t bring lunch - free BBQ!
• Proper shoes for Olympics
• Listening ears for Dr. Michael Carr-Gregg’s lecture on Yr 12 stress and time management

Ask Cal

Hey guys!

I returned safely from my alien ordeal, after teaching them the literary value of Shakespeare. Contrary to rumours abounding, I was not subjected to any experiments...

Dear Callum,
How on God’s green earth does Jennifer from your Italian class tie such a pretty bow in her hair?
~ Tied up with envy.

God, in hi excellence hath decreed that
From time to time there would live a girl,
To whom management of time and hair would be all.

Dear Cal,
Why is the world full of riddles???

Dear Perplexed,
The good people of Mensa need delights,
To while away the days and lonely nights.
Paradoxically yours,
Cal.

Don’t you with your girlfriend was hot like me, Callum?
Random

Dear Random
‘Tis not in the many colours of the lord’s
Chromatic promise that resteth my love.
Surpassing shades of praise and praise of shades.
Your loveliness, for certes, lives undoubted.
Yet my heart strings will not be plucked
by another hand, and stand to times test.

Yours in a parallel universe,
Cal.

CALS HANDY STUDY TIP #2:
Don't forget to eat something which will give you long lasting energy (like museli with chopped-up fruit, not Milo cereal) before you go to your exams. And it is always better to eat something,even if it is junk food .

Tommorow: Bumper liftout edition, Cal answers each of your questions, for the very last time, in exactly 6 words.

More Ask Cal Q&A:

Dear Cal,
GUESS WHO?

Dear Anonymous,
The stealthy dark of night hath,
The letters of my lover unauthored.
I am besieged with sable-coloured melancholy.
For I achieve not the knowledge of her face.

Dear Callum,
Why are you so terribly cool? Why is the sky blue? Why am I so beautiful?
Love, from,
A weirdo you don’t know.

Dear Weird,
I am but a man who’s outward shows doth
Mark an inward sense of fiery duty.
The hue of a skylark’s sea is light refracted,
And beauty, form your genome is contracted.

I remain, your dutiful servant in rhyme,
Cal.

Dear Cal
Why thou shall not die?

Dear Grammatically Challenged,
Language, words and poetry are the arts,
Which feed the soul and set alight the heart.
Thus, tend on them with a gentle respect,
As you would, a child in nine days wonder.

Yours in simpleness and duty,
Callum.

Snap of the day

The Welfare Corner

Riddle of the Day:

What did one eye say to the other?

Wednesday’s answer: It said, “Twist to open”.

Tongue Twister:

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

StudMuffin '08 ...

don't cha wish your girl(boy)friend was hot like [insert_name]?

It’s becoming a bit crazy in the lead-up to the epitome of the competition where your StudMuffin is revealed. Voting activity has been phenomenal and the last 24 hours has been crucial in reshaping our leaderboard. Remember - last day of voting is today!

Before we get to that… just to keep everything fair a few additional rules have been introduced for the voting process: 1) No typed votes… we want individually crafted, hand-written votes! 2) Those who do not appear on the nominations list will not be eligible to take out the title… there are enough people in contention as it is!

And now to our leaders:

1) Julie Kendall - impressively almost up to a 4 digit figure!

2) Daniel Duong

3) Judy Chu

Editors' rant: Random ramblings...

Hello again summer school dudes… welcome to another day… Day 8 (wow - so fast). Anyway, no real story from us today - instead some small tidbits here and there.

Firstly… for those who have been heckling tutors for a list of who’s up for StudMuffin - apologies, we’ve been a bit slow to get it up this week. However the listing has been erected in GPG, as well as a makeshift leaderboard. We’ll keep you posted on the progressive tally…

Next up on the agenda today is a call for any photos from Beach Day or Trivia. We have a limited number of shots which we will endeavour to post in the Summer School Photo Album online today - however we would love to see more (especially since we saw many of you with camera in hand at the beach… sharing is caring!)

By example - today we have a top snap submitted to us anonymously. That’s right, the Donut King Klub wants you! (PS. We do not know if these guys have some hidden affiliation with Donut King. PPS. No, the smoochy couple in the background are not VCE SS people!)

Apart from that, there will only be two more issues of The Zine - so again we will call out for any submissions of prose, words of love, comics, drawings etc etc. that you might like the rest of the VCE SS community to witness… send it our way at SummerSchoolZine at gmail dot com and we will do our darndest to make sure you get your moment of glory in The Zine.

Anyway, that’s all we’ve got (can you tell we’re space filling?)

- Sheryl & Jen

What's going on today?

8.45am: Group meeting

9.00am: Class

10.00am: LOTE presentation in the Herbert Wilson Theatre (now… this is in the basement of the Doug McDonell building - you may need to dodge construction works to get there!)

11.00pm: More classes...

1.00pm: Lunch! The Tutors vs Students debate will be on - please see GPG notices for more details.

2.00pm: More classes.

4.00pm: Wow - it looks like you’ve finally earned an afternoon off… official ‘chill out’ or ‘go home early’ time!

Handy-doodle reminder list

For Thursday 17th January

• Proper shoes for activities tomorrow (either sports or tentatively the tutor work shop days where tutors showcase their talents and show the kids a few tricks)
• Lunch - on your own today. No BBQ!
• Your ears (really… don’t forget them at home) for John Faine’s presentation
• Pizza supper provided tomorrow!

Students vs Tutors Debate - on today!

Ha, we at The Zine are starting to feel like real journalists now so here we are trying to print announcements that we do not have full details for.

Anyhow, first up - debating is on today. It’s Students vs Tutors and will be during lunchtime (we think). More info can be found on the noticeboard in GPG!

Tomorrow there will be time for some activities - one of them being fire-twirling….er, with one catch… it will be fireless! (Still good, still good!) If anyone is interested in this - please bring a pair of long socks tomorrow as well as two objects to weight the socks (ie. some tennis balls or marbles).

Ask Cal

We at The Zine fear that Cal may have been abducted by aliens last night… as a result, there is sadly no ‘Ask Cal’ in today’s issue. We have left our resident eccentric’s photo here so that you can mourn and pray that Cal hears your calls for a new issue of ‘Ask Cal’ in tomorrow’s copy of The Zine… wherever he may be. Keep submitting questions to the box in GPG (that’s the Ask Cal one, not StudMuffin) or carlo.allietti at gmail dot com

The wrap up from Day 7

Day 7… there was of course yummy BBQ, but forget that because the rivalry came out at Trivia. The electric atmosphere was amazing. Especially during Charades! How people could solve ‘Toy Story’ in <>

The Welfare Corner

Riddle of the Day:

Why did the man dance in front of the bottle?

Tuesday’s answer: A whole

Tongue Twister:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck

If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

He would chuck, we would, as much wood as he could,

And chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would chuck

If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

StudMuffin '08 ...

don't cha wish your girl(boy)friend was hot like [insert_name]?

Well well, StudMuffin voting is alive and well so far this week (and will continue to be up until the end of Thursday). There was been a great deal of interest - but at the moment it is a two horse race as our two leaders Aaron Lau (above) and Stanley Wang have a fair few votes on everyone else (and by fair few we mean 100+). Kudos to those incredibly dedicated Aaron and Stan fans (or fan… we’re not quite sure) who inundated the voting box with their votes on hundreds of teeny tiny pieces of paper. You drove Jen mad trying to retrieve the votes and then count them! As a result, we will accept multiple votes for one person on a single sheet of paper provided the name is written once for each vote and arranged in a grid like pattern! Anyway, the leaderboard at the end of Tuesday stands as 1) Aaron Lau 2) Stanley Wang and 3) Nhung Vo. Check GPG for more updates.

Editors' rant: QUIT for procrastinators

Hello and welcome to another day of VCE SS. We apologise that there was no printed copy of The Zine yesterday (boo for the printer!) but hopefully we are back on today!

Yesterday (in the copy of The Zine that very very few people would have actually seen…) we discussed perfecting the art of procrastination. So now that you are wasting away your time without checking anything off the ’To do’ list it’s time to discuss trying to prevent oneself from procrastinating when that important essay or exam is fast approaching.

Tip #1: Remove oneself from all sources of entertainment - this means the PSP, Xbox, TV etc. A good way to do this is to heave yourself down to your local library where you can hear a pin drop. But don’t bring the laptop… the last thing you need is to end up on a wireless connection checking your Facebook!

Tip #2: Remove sources of natural light. You will not want to know that it’s a beautiful day outside and you have to stay in and study.

Tip #3: Bring lots of snacks and resist the urge to fall asleep. Having food means you don’t have to make excuses for popping out for lunch!

So keep with those and hopefully you’ll get some work done!

- Sheryl & Jen

What's going on today?

8.45am: Group meeting

9.00am: Classes…

11.00am: Activity… er, we don’t know what it is… we probably should, but we don’t!

12.00pm: Class

1.00pm: Yes! Free BBQ! Again… if you hadn’t worked it out by now - yes, we are tight arses and we like free lunches (or any free food for that matter).

2.00pm: Classes

4.00pm: Trivia night - at Trinity College Hall.

Handy-doodle reminder list

For Wednesday 16th January

• Pads and pens for tomorrow’s LOTE presentation in the Herbert Wilson Theatre
• Packed lunch, water, hats & sunblock

We have announcements but no flashy title for them

Hope everyone had a fab time down at the beach yesterday! While you were there, did you happen to notice a pair of Quiksilver sunnies lying around that perhaps you picked up? If so, please come to GPG and speak to one of the friendly staff!

Trivia is on tonight - it’s at Trinity College Halls (that’s right, it’s not a typo… go to Trinity, not Medley College!). We have no idea what’s in store for the night but look forward to finding out (and roaming around the grounds of Trinity).

Debating will be on tomorrow - more info in the next issue but start getting pumped!

Ask Cal

Hi guys!

Disappointing results today, only two people wanted me to make a fool of myself writing haikus. Looking for a better result tomorrow as I am attempting iambic pentameter...

Dear Cal,

Who is Richard III?

Dear Ricky,

1493

Richard was King Of England

Later Shakespearean

Peace and love,

Cal.

Dear Cal,
Why are you so hot?

Dear Sagacious One

If letters be the
Food of love, play on. Give me
Excess of them. Please?

Love and Kisses,
Zaphod... err. I mean, Cal.

Cal's Handy Exam Tip #1: Set two alarms (e.g. your phone and alarm clock) the night before any exam... power failures suck, need I explain more?

Much love until next time,

Cal.

The Welfare Corner

Riddle of the Day:

What gets bigger the more you take from it?

Monday’s answer: Envelope

Tongue Twister:

If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

StudMuffin '08 ...

don't cha wish your girl(boy)friend was hot like [insert_name]?

Today we will merely republish yesterday’s message. Thank you to everyone who submitted a nomination for this year’s StudMuffin. The box in GPG was overfilling with votes at the close of Friday so there are essentially a whole lot of people up for this year’s title. Special mentions go out to many iconic features of Medley Hall including the common room, ping pong table and Wii!

Anyway, the full list of nominees will be posted up today in GPG and we will keep you posted with the leaderboard through this week. Voting will close at the end of Thursday. Remember… it is essentially Resi vs others now so make your vote count! (Yes, we are deliberately creating a sense of rivalry between you).

Editors' rant: The art of procrastination

Web ed: Boo for the printer... no print edition of The Zine today =(
We also fixed up a fatal error to do with an apostrophe... the editor has been slapped for not proofreading thoroughly and allowing such a shocker to get through. Perhaps it's a good thing the printer was down? If you download the print ed (PDF) try and spot it - the editor who wrote it is particularly upset because bad grammar, spelling and punctuation is a pet peeve of hers. Anyhoo... onto the real story:

Hi everybody! (waits for unison response… “Hi Dr. Nick”). It’s Week 2 - yay, it’s Monday - boo, but it’s beach day - yay. That does mean that you will start off today with 4 straight classes (fingers crossed you have spares somewhere in between). So yes, that’s bad. But then again… you do get to knock off early - that’s good!

Today we thought we’d focus on a craft that your editors’ have had no problems in fully mastering - the art of procrastination. What’s that… we shouldn’t be using words with more than 4 syllables? Basically for those who are unfamiliar with the term, it is defined as: “To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness”.

So the burning question is how does one procrastinate? Well, there are many ways to pass time while you are avoiding doing something else… some of the following from our favourite stash which might strike a chord with you include:
• Just one more game of online poker
• Just one more episode of Grey’s Anatomy
• Just one more Tim Tam
• Just a 10 minute powernap
And while all of these methods are great, there is a super-weapon now available if you are in great need of procrastination. Its name is Facebook. In fact, there is a “If procrastination were a subject, I’d be top of my class” group for those who are really keen. Oops, better stop procrastinating… MUST. FINISH. ZINE.

- Sheryl & Jen

What's going on today?

8.45am: Group meeting
9.00am: Classes… pretty extreme timetabling today - 4 classes straight… urgh. Try and hang in there though - you’ll have the entire arvo to play!
1.00pm: It’s beach day… weather will be nice and warm (but unfortunately prob not ideal beach swimming weather). Good for working on that tan though!

Handy-doodle reminder list

For Tuesday 15th January

• Proper shoes for activities tomorrow (will be some sports activities or if it’s too hot maybe cards or something easy)
• Oh yeah - don’t you just love free BBQs? Another on tomorrow!
• Bring your brains, your wits, your random bits of knowledge for trivia night at Trinity College Halls

Ask Cal

This issue, Cal answers your questions with lyrics from both popular and highly obscure songs. There will be a prize (most likely baked) for the person who is able to name the most songs quoted, and either email them to carlo.allietti at gmail dot com, or put it in the "Ask Cal" box in the George Paton Gallery.

Dear Callum,
How do I get my Resi Tutor (Julie) to stop being mean to Shane. She keeps calling him poo.
Love, Concerned Student.

Dear Concerned Student,
Its alright, to tell Shane,
what you think about him.
But tell Julie to walk the line,
'cause everybody hurts, sometimes.
Cal ~ Sorry, is all that she can say.

Dear Callum,
Do your have nothing better to do to do than answer these weird and wonderful questions?

Dear Faceless Man
Just like Father Mackenzie,
I sit at at a desk writing sermons that no one
will hear.
Why do I care?
Some get a kick in a plane,
Flying too high with some doll in the sky
Is my idea of nothing to do,
But I get a kick out of you...
Peace and love, Cal.

Dear Callum,
I am having trouble finding my way around Melb. Uni. Could you please tell me the location
of “various rooms”? The timetable doesn't even say which building it is in! ~ Lost.

If you're Lost, and you look,
then you will find me (I can be your angel...),
Time after time.
“Various rooms” is a white room,
With black curtains,
At the station.
Cal ~ kinda like the video clip for Virtual Insanity.

Tomorrow: Cal answers all your questions in haiku form!

More 'Ask Cal' Q&As:

Dear Callum,
WHERE ARE THE ZINE PEOPLE?!

Dear Succinct,
The zine people walk a lonely road,
The only road they have ever known,
But don't cry for them,
Argentina is where they're bound .
Cal ~ (where they got the money is beyond me!)

Dear Callum,
You are such a hottie,
We love your biscotti
How do you get your hair so shiny,
This poem is rhymie!

Dear Distant Lover,
How sweet it is to be loved by you!
Next time, I'll juggle one-handed, do some magic tricks, and,
the best darn biscotti in the world.
As for my hair, it's always been a matter of trust in my conditioner,
and a good deal of running against the wind.
Cal ~ Can we be crazy for a few mores days if I've got them in me?

Dear Callum... How does ink come out of a pen?

Dear Annonymous
I heard it through the grapevine
that just as hate know's loves the cure,
you can rest your mind assured,
That ink will flow freely to your page,
In any colour you like,
because the ball-point is under pressure
Cal ~ those pens that write in space may be the final frontier.

Dear Callum,
I take the non-publishing of my proposal as a rejection. Will you please reconsider, I have Julie... Love, Random Tutor.

Dear Random Tutor,
Desparado, why don't you come to your senses,
Rest assured that I cant get enough of your love.
You're not the one but you're the only one.
Hurt Julie and you might as well be walking on the sun.
Cal ~ To much love will kill you.

Dear Callum,
When will you cut your hair?

Dear Sweet Child of Mine
She asks me why
I'm just a hairy guy .
I wish, I knew the right words...
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

Dear Callum,
How many more centuries do you think our species form will change over? How?

Dear Inquisitive,
Lately I've been wondering the same thing.
With no vivid reasons here to find.
Hey there mighty brontosaurus,
don't you have a lesson for us?
Ice will melt, water will boil
You and I, will shake of this mortal coil
It's bigger than us, you don't have to worry about it.
Peace and love, Cal.

Dear Callum,
Why aren't you on the Stud-Muffin list? I am shocked and horrified. I voted for you oh so many times... If you are on the Studmuffin list, I wouldn't mind taking a bite out of you!
~ Your hungry lover.

Dear Muffin-lover,
Stop right now, thank you very much. You know that I would change my life to better suit your mood. But you gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun. I know it sounds funny but I just cant stand the pain. People taking bites of me just drives my head insane.
Your part-time lover, Cal.

The wrap up from Day 5

There was morning tea… which was a good time for chilling (and also eating many a chocolate cookie). There was a soccer match after all - we hear Munaf’s team kicked ass over Emilia’s team. There was a treasure hunt which sent students running crazily around campus and there was a careers expo which resulted in free yo-yos!

The Welfare Corner

Riddle of the Day:
What’s an eight letter word that only has one letter in it?

Friday’s answer: The teacher had bright students

Tongue Twister:
You’ve no need to light a night-light
On a light night like tonight,
For a night-light’s light’s a slight light,
And tonight’s a night that’s light.
When a night’s light, like tonight’s light,
It is really not quite right.
To light night-lights with their slight lights
On a light night like tonight

StudMuffin '08 ...

Thank you to everyone who submitted a nomination for
this year’s StudMuffin. The box in GPG was overfilling
with votes at the close of Friday so there are essentially a
whole lot of people up for this year’s title. Special mentions
go out to many iconic features of Medley Hall including
the common room, ping pong table and Wii!
Anyway, the full list of nominees will be posted up today
in GPG and we will keep you posted with the leaderboard
through this week. Voting will close at the end of Thursday.
Remember… it is essentially Resi vs others now so
make your vote count! (Yes, we are deliberately creating
a sense of rivalry between you).

Editors' rant: Another quick word...

G’day all to Day 5 of VCE SS ‘08. Quick word from your editors today: it’s Friday (yay!) and there are heaps of activities on today so make sure you get down to morning tea, come rock with the band in North Court at lunchtime and bring your pirate hat along for the treasure hunt (we accept folded newspapers).

Also, look for The Zine’s new segment ‘Ask Cal’ and start asking!

Wishing you a fabulous Friday and weekend.

- Sheryl & Jen

Web ed: Sorry if the formatting is a bit crazy today (ie. in Ask Cal) ... we will fix it up tonight!

What's going on today?

8.45am: Group meeting

9.00am: Classes…

11.00am: Morning tea. Your editors are hoping that the entire spectrum of the Tim Tams range will be on offer.

12.00pm: Class

1.00pm: Band! There will be a band in North Court whilst you enjoy lunch.

2.00pm: Group activities - we’ve got treasure hunting planned - meet at GPG, Level 2 Union House.

3.00pm: Careers Expo. In the Law building. Definitely worth checking out - find out more in the news and announcements section

Handy-doodle reminder list

For Monday 14th January

• Bathers, sun block, hat, towels, bottled water, packed lunch, change of clothes etc… Why? Because Monday is BEACH DAY!

Treasure + Careers Expo = Awesome Line-up

Well hopefully everyone is well aware that today is the day we go hunting for treasure. Remember to meet at 2pm @ the GPG. Unfortunately for you soccer enthusiasts the much anticipated match is no longer on. We didn’t want you to suffer heat exhaustion (nor did we want to be liable).

Careers Expo is on at 3pm in the ever-so-cool (literally) Law building. Those who want a walker to Law - wait on South Lawn (near the John Medley building) and someone will pick you up! We have Monash, Ballarat, La Trobe, Melbourne Access and Deakin Uni coming so make sure you rock up!

Ask Cal

Introducing a new segment to you today… have you been wondering lately why your legs are whiter than your arms? Or why Pluto is no longer a planet?

VCE SS ‘08’s enigmatic and eccentric, Cal, answers your questions about life, the universe and everything! Over to you Cal.

Dear Cal, How do I defeat Shane at Uno? ~ Defeated

Dear Defeated, If, like the rest of us sane (and unscrupulous) people, you lack the patience to master the ancient art of card counting, try other simpler methods of cheating such as shouting; “look, it's a three-headed monkey”, and slipping cards onto the bottom of the deck when everybody looks the other way. Good luck! Cal

Dear Cal, Why isn't the rest of level 2 Air-conditioned?!?! ~ Hot and Flustered

Dear Hot and Flustered, It is. Unfortunately the kids in George Paton get lonely, and turned it down, in a devious scheme to lure people into their den of card games and other cardinal sins! Also, Tom and I are rampant exotherms! (hooray for chemistry jokes!) Peace and love, Cal.

I super hungry, but super poor... any suggestions? ~ Mal Nutrition.

Dear Mal, I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. My number one tip (as self proclaimed Italian with a love for cooking) is pasta. Boil some the night before, al dente, with a little olive oil and salt. Then add pesto, cold potatoes and buffalo mozzarella. Garnish with baby spinach leaves. This makes a a wonderful, cheap lunch! If you'd prefer to buy food, Thresherman's Bakehouse on Faraday St. (see any of the tutors for directions) is excellent, close, and reasonably priced. Buon Appetito! Cal.

Send your questions to carlo.allietti at gmail dot com, or post them in the convenient box in GPG. Those questions not published will be shown on The Zine blogspot.

Tomorrow: Cal answers all your questions with lyrics from songs!

More of Cal's answers:

Dear Cal, Why can't I write in a straight line? ~ Linear-Challenged

Dear Linear-Challenged,
Unfortunately it sounds as if you, also, suffer from rare condition called Apoxyinventedisitis. This commonly afflicts children aged 4-6, although my year 11 English teacher once suggested I had relapses in times of stress. I wouldn't worry too much about, just drink lots of chamomile tea and breath deeply!

Cal, I
Dear Frizzy,
Firstly, thank you for your flattering words! I must admit hair-care is a struggle sometimes, but very rewarding. Kind of like having a child... who doesn't spend your money like its going out of fashion, and agrees heartily with everything you say.
The routine is:
- Let hair get warm and wet.
- Shampoo once, thoroughly, making sure to massage the scalp, and rinse well.
- Condition, running my hands through my hair like a comb, ensuring that every follicle gets some TLC.
- Then, if hair is still lacking that perfect sleekness, do another quick condition. I hope that helps. Love, and best of luck conditioning, Cal.

Dear Cal, Where do lost socks go?​

Dear Barefoot Try the lost property box in George Paton Gallery! Cheers, Cal.

Dear Cal, What is the best place on campus to get naked and cool down on thurs/friday?

Dear Eccentric,
Commonly held wisdom is that the best place to get naked on a Friday (but never on a Thursday!) on campus is South Lawn. It becomes a regular nudist colony during semester!* The best place to get cool is definitely George Paton, but maybe keep your clothes on!!!

Love, and peace, Cal.
*Disclaimer: The author accepts no responsibility if you enrol at Melbourne University expecting a Nudist colony on Fridays at South Lawn...

Dear Callum, Are you single? Please answer!!

Yours truly, ~ Annonymous.

Dear Annonymous,

If you are not my girlfriend, yes! Eira, if you are somehow reading this, I'm just kidding sweetpea... But seriously, I'm very flattered.

Much love, Cal.

Why don't you sing more? We miss your voice!

~ Callum Fan Club Member #6

Dear Fan Club Member #6,

I shall endeavour to stretch my vocal chords more. See you al CalCon '08!

Peace and love,

Cal.

Dear Cal,

What is life?

Dear Soul-Searching,

42.

Love and Kisses,

Zaphod...

err, I mean, Cal.

Dear Cal,

Will you go out with me?

<3,

Random Tutor.

Dear Random Tutor,

I'd love to, I'll pick you up at your place, 8pm, the Monday after Summer School finishes!

Luv,

Cal.

Dear Callum,

Who is your favourite charater in Family Guy?

Your ardent admirer,

Annon.

Dear Annonymous,

Brian rocks my world!

Cal ~ “Who's leg do you have to hump around here to get a dry Martini?”

Dear Cal,

What nationality are you? How many languages do you speak?

~ Culture Hungry.

Dear Culture Hungry,

I speak English, and Italian reasonably well, but by no means fluently (which my Italian class will attest to!). Funnily enough I am a quarter Italian. My family, the Alliettis, live in the small village of Livo, in Lombardia, and are all tall, bronzed and handsome. The rest of my heritage is weedy, blindingly-white Scottish and English. Unfortunately, my Italian genes didn't really put up much of a fight...

Pace (Italian for peace, not a misspelling),

Cal.

The wrap up from Day 4

Ah, how sad that we only have a tiny box of room to wrap up Day 4. The Panel Discussion was the main event on and saw three speakers explain their journey since school which hopefully students found inspiring! Apart from that there were the usual classes, more free drinks and food (always good) and scorching hot weather!

The Welfare Corner

Riddle of the Day: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?

Thursday’s answer: Water

Tongue Twister:

Once upon a barren moor

There dwelt a bear, also a boar.

The bear could not bear the boar.

The boar thought the bear a bore.

At last the bear could bear no more

Of that boar that bored the boar -

That boar will bore the bear no more.

StudMuffin ‘08 …

don't cha wish your girl(boy)friend was hot like [insert_name]?

Wow - there’s been a late charge with those nominations. Here’s the latest listing of all nominees up for StudMuffin ’08 (below). Remember, nominations close tonight!

Email summerschoolzine at gmail dot com with the subject heading StudMuffin or drop it into the appropriately decorated StudMuffin box located at GPG. OMG, there are actually so many nominees now that we don’t have enough space (we are trying to be eco-friendly and keep to one double-sided page) to publish each nominee’s name. We will get together a listing of all nominees up until Thursday and post it up in the GPG and on the website.

Also, if you are voting for a person… it’d be great if their surname could be included in the nomination! Other than that, you now have less than 24 hours to nominate anybody who doesn’t appear on the listing so get to it!

The full list of nominees as of the end of Thursday:

• Giuseppe Rubino
• Alan Young
• Linda Lam
• Laura Williams
• Mark Dwyer
• Nhat Ngo
• Nhung Vo
• Ray Wang
• Jodi Samartgis
• Pam Zuppardo
• Julie Kendall
• Stanley Wang
• Jennifer ? from Braybrook College
• Emma Smith
• Steven's Vespa
• June Quian
• Matthew Harper-Schmid
• Namine Mensui from Melbourne Girls' College
• Jenny Dang
• Donna Nguyen
• Frances Neate
• Amanda Cole
• Munaf (Activities co-ordinator) - nomination had additional comment: Spunky!
• Matthew Kizalla
• Judy Chu
• Madison ?
• Alex Sherman - additional comments on nomination: Hottie!
• Maddy Croft
• Rachel Powell
• Rahul Barmanway
• Shane Woon
• Tozan ?
• Ben Phillips
• Harley Cameron-Smith
• Kate Hamilton-Myers
• Elizabeth Nguyen

Whoa... that's one super long list of nominees. And here's a few that will not be included:

• Lemonade at 9am, even though Stan says not to! -- We're sorry, a silent rule of StudMuffin is that the item must be unique!
• The photocopier -- see above reasoning.
• Resi-tutor room beanbags, Julie's fish pencil case -- multiple nominations from the same person
  

Editors' rant: Exams and humour. Can the two mix?

Web ed: Sorry... bit slow off the mark today with the web edition. But it's up now!

Hiya all and welcome to Day 4 of VCE SS and another issue of The Zine.

Now everybody tackling VCE has to endure sitting at least one exam. Perhaps this will be the first time you’ve taken an exam or maybe you’ve got a few under your belt already.

Imagine a worst case hypothetical scenario: you’ve just walked in to sit your exam and read through your questions. There does not appear to be a single question you can answer. What do you do? Hold on… that’s not the question we’re here to answer today. We may cover that in a more serious rant one day.

Well there’s no point leaving your paper blank so what else can you do? Turn to humour. 9 times out of 10 this will backfire as the marker is likely to not have a sense of humour… but hey, if they like it you could earn some sympathy marks!

A friend once faced with this dire scenario decided to make a moving man flip book with her script book (where you draw the stick figure differently on each page corner). Somehow she passed! Anyhow, if it weren’t for the creativity of such people during exams we wouldn’t have gold material such as that below.

So we say yes - there does exist a scenario (which hopefully you’ll never be in) where exams can meet humour. Let them mix!

And some comic relief for you...

What's going on today?

8.45am: Group meeting

9.00am: Classes…

11.00am: Panel discussion taking place in Law GM15. Come along… if anything, your eds swear that the Law building is the best on campus and has aircon going!

12.00pm: Classes

1.00pm: Lunch - woohoo! It’s a free BBQ… even better… bring yourselves to North Court for food and fun.

2.00pm: More classes… until 5pm.

Handy-doodle reminder list

For Friday 11th January

• Morning tea
  

• Music senses for our BAND!


• Remember to wear proper shoes for the group activities (there will be soccer and treasure tomorrow... if it's too hot we might just play cards at Union House Level 2)


• Careers expo is on tomorrow! Remember to bring your questions...

It's Friday tomorrow... that means loads of activities!

That’s right folks, tomorrow marks the end of Week 1… halfway through VCE SS 08. There are heaps of activities planned for tomorrow - the Careers Expo will be on (more info on that one in tomorrow’s issue of The Zine), there will be a band playing at North Court and you’ll be able to take part in a number of activities, namely the Students vs Tutors Soccer Match and the VCE SS Treasure Hunt.

Unfortunately for those who are interested in both the soccer and the treasure, these two events will be running in parallel so you’ll need to choose between the two.

Treasure Hunt people - word is to meet at GPG at 2pm on Friday for an hour of craziness around the green pastures of Melbourne University.

Soccer dudes - soccer will be held at 2pm on one of the outdoor courts situated close to the uni gym.

Vox pop

Some other responses we got were:
“Pickles and ice-cream.” Bree, Student
“Snails and foie gras” Anna, Student
“Lamb’s liver” Lucy, Student

Free free to add the the list in the comments!

The Welfare Corner

Riddle of the Day:
What can run, but cannot walk?

Wednesday’s answer: A zebra with a rash

Tongue Twister:
Betty bought a bit of butter.
The butter Betty Botter bought was a bit bitter
And made her batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter
Makes batter better.
So Betty Botter bought a big of better butter.
Making Betty Botter’s bitter batter better.

The wrap up from Day 3

Well, unfortunately for The Zine… one of your editors did not recharge her camera battery and as a result we have a large gap in terms of photos from Day 3. If anybody did take photos and would like to share them, please get in touch with us through email… you know it: SummerSchoolZine at gmail dot com.

StudMuffin ‘08 …

don’t cha wish your girl(boy)friend was hot like [insert_name]?

The latest update on StudMuffin… is that a medium-sized box located in the GPG has been collecting nominations unbeknownst to the editors of The Zine (er… until now, that is). Not to worry, not to worry… now that we know about its existence we can factor in a truckload more of nominations (and we’ve also factored in another left as a comment on the webpage). Without further adieu, here’s the latest listing of all nominees up for StudMuffin ’08 (below). Keep em coming: summerschoolzine at gmail dot com with the subject heading StudMuffin. We will also empty out the box at GPG every day now so if you prefer the ol’ crayon and paper method then that’s fine too!

• Giuseppe Rubino
  

• Alan Young


• Linda Lam


• Laura Williams


• Mark Dwyer


• Nhat Ngo


• Nhung Vo


• Ray Wang


• Jodi Samartgis


• Pam Zuppardo


• Julie Kendall


• Stanley Wang


• Jennifer ? from Braybrook College


• Emma Smith


• Steven's Vespa
  

Editors' rant: The Goss from Hollywood

Howdy Summer School students! With all that red tape finally out of the way (phew!), your zany Zine editors finally have a ranting space to call their own. And we’ve decided, being the Hollywood groupies that we are (*rolls eyes*), that nothing kicks the day off better than some good ol’ fashioned gossip.

Oops, Britney Spears has done it again. Has she hit rock bottom of her seemingly bottomless pit of faux pas or has she simply gone utterly deranged? Britney was admitted to Cedar-Sinai Medical Centre a few days ago to undergo a 72-hour psychological evaluation after refusing to hand over her children to ex-husband and rapper extraordinaire (*eyes still rolling*) K-Fed at the appointed time. Britney checked out of the hospital after a mere 24-hours and has since been spotted reasonably sane, enjoying breakfast with paparazzo friend Adnan Ghalib.


On slightly more upbeat news, Nicole Kidman is pregnant! Kidman finally put an end to weeks of speculation and confirmed that she is expecting her first child with her husband country singer Keith Urban. Kidman withdrew from her upcoming film, The Reader, a post WWII film, as she was concerned about the welfare of her unborn child. Kidman had an ectopic pregnancy at the beginning of her marriage to Tom Cruise and suffered a miscarriage at the time the couple split.

That’s all from Tinseltown today y’all. Hope you guys enjoyed our spiel of Hollywood entertainment. If you can’t get enough, be sure to attend the movie extravaganza at Union Theatre for a night of unprecedented Hollywood glamour!