Ask Cal

Hey guys!

I returned safely from my alien ordeal, after teaching them the literary value of Shakespeare. Contrary to rumours abounding, I was not subjected to any experiments...

Dear Callum,
How on God’s green earth does Jennifer from your Italian class tie such a pretty bow in her hair?
~ Tied up with envy.

God, in hi excellence hath decreed that
From time to time there would live a girl,
To whom management of time and hair would be all.

Dear Cal,
Why is the world full of riddles???

Dear Perplexed,
The good people of Mensa need delights,
To while away the days and lonely nights.
Paradoxically yours,
Cal.

Don’t you with your girlfriend was hot like me, Callum?
Random

Dear Random
‘Tis not in the many colours of the lord’s
Chromatic promise that resteth my love.
Surpassing shades of praise and praise of shades.
Your loveliness, for certes, lives undoubted.
Yet my heart strings will not be plucked
by another hand, and stand to times test.

Yours in a parallel universe,
Cal.

CALS HANDY STUDY TIP #2:
Don't forget to eat something which will give you long lasting energy (like museli with chopped-up fruit, not Milo cereal) before you go to your exams. And it is always better to eat something,even if it is junk food .

Tommorow: Bumper liftout edition, Cal answers each of your questions, for the very last time, in exactly 6 words.

More Ask Cal Q&A:

Dear Cal,
GUESS WHO?

Dear Anonymous,
The stealthy dark of night hath,
The letters of my lover unauthored.
I am besieged with sable-coloured melancholy.
For I achieve not the knowledge of her face.

Dear Callum,
Why are you so terribly cool? Why is the sky blue? Why am I so beautiful?
Love, from,
A weirdo you don’t know.

Dear Weird,
I am but a man who’s outward shows doth
Mark an inward sense of fiery duty.
The hue of a skylark’s sea is light refracted,
And beauty, form your genome is contracted.

I remain, your dutiful servant in rhyme,
Cal.

Dear Cal
Why thou shall not die?

Dear Grammatically Challenged,
Language, words and poetry are the arts,
Which feed the soul and set alight the heart.
Thus, tend on them with a gentle respect,
As you would, a child in nine days wonder.

Yours in simpleness and duty,
Callum.